My name is Calla, in 28
I come from Poland/ Poznań
I am single...

I produce clothes, draw and I am amateur amphotographer becouse of lack of good equipment

Friends:








4.10.2008
I was betrayed by a person I was treated as a friend. He promissed me a photo session long time ago. I was collecting money for hairgresser and makeup. I was happy like a mad child. But he also asked me to buy some stuff from net, he couldn;t buy himself. As soon as I let him know that I got the package he said that he wont have time for me, becouse he has an important meeting in a well known hotel and has to go bac soon after that but he wan to see me, have some coffe with me. He didn,t wan't to see me, he wanted to be sure his package would be well delivered. I wasn't invitet for a coffe to a hotel restaurant, he asked me to come to McDonalds near the hotel.
So ts this all I am worth. Am I UPS or sth. I gues I am
Sad becouse I had such a good idea for a sesion.
Its just a thougth, only a thought



5.10.2008
I wisch I could become a serious good photograper, I read a lot, I watch and analize thousends of pictures a day, I am about to take some courses but isn't it too late. I am afraid It is. Much younger people are famous artists, and I don;t have anything, but ideas. I even don't have good camera. I tried to realize a project I was thinking of, since long time, but it was imposible, becouse of lack of good camera. I just sprnd a lot of time in the forest trying to take some quite well loking pictures untill the batteries went off
It's just a thought, only a thought.


04.01.2009
Since some time I cannot sleep. Christmas is gone, New Year is gone. I was watching people prepering themselves to the holyday. On the streets, in the busses, in the shops. I was walking alone. Nothing to buy, nothing to look for. Sad lonely Christmas pretending that we are still a good familly, lonely New Year. Sitting by the phone, waiting for a call from somebody... just silence... watching New Years pictures. Than I realize that just short time ago I was somebodys friend, but there is no need for me anymore. I am getting just older, more wired, sad and...lonely. There is no point in standing up earlier, in putting nice make-up. I feel as if tomorrow there will be no sense in sitting by the phone, stare at the pictures in the computer. Just still try to belive that there is a beauty in a breakdown.
It's just a thought, only a thought.


14.03.2009
It is easy to belive someone, it is too easy to give someone my heart, it is easy to make me blind for a moment, but I am a good observer, now someone I called best friend was caught red handed and tries to destroy me, telling fale stories, trying to warn me, I am not afraid I just feel sorry for myself how stupid I was. Is there such thing as friendship? I tried to belive in it. But how can I still belive in it when people who call themselves friends treats me well as long as they need something. Usuali it comes to a money or a unusual favour. If the thing is done I am not needed any more, if I cannot affotr to do something, if I fail I am thous bad one, if I discover the truth I am the enemy.
People tends to wear masks (Well maybe Adobe should invest in some sort of tools that works in reality.) Wer to fake our prefair to fake our beauty, our sele esteam, our appearience in the eyes of the others. Every one wans to be te best, the cleanest, the most reliable, the rigt. But what is under the mask???
I would like to look like that, I probably also tend to wear a mask but I will confess that I am not perfect, I make mistakes, I fall and try to stand up, I am sometimes lazy, I am not beautifull and I would love to be, I lost the best years of my life without learning the basic lesson - that if your heart is weak, you have to have a hard ass.
It's just a thought, only a thought.